Ok...so I don't read blogs about Vietnamese adoption. Ok..I said it. I still read all of you with Chinese children but I just can't bring myself to "join in " the VN thing. Sorry...but I don't really feel like a part of it yet. I WANT to ...I swear I do...but I don't. I should clarify that I do read VN blogs of those of you still waiting with me. I am praying with you and hope we all have news soon. It isn't that I don't care about the families I've followed for these past 20 months who have been to VN and back...I certainly do..I just can't look at your little ones right now. I promise I will be back to them b/c they are so stinking cute I can't stay away long : )
Have you noiced that I have added NOTHING to Malia's site...do I feel guilty~ sure I do but I don't really know what to say. I just feel in limbo with the whole thing and although I know the "motherly" part of me should feel something about our hopefully impending referral....I am really finding it hard to do. I think I am just trying to distance myself and brace for the worst.
I HOPE and PRAY our baby is out there and coming soon but I can't lose any more sleep over it ~ well, actually ofcourse I will : )
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19 comments:
I don't think you should feel bad. Adoption is so strange and uncertain. I felt like that off and on over the past 3 years as we waited for Ren. Wondering when it was going to happen if ever was hard. And eventually I think I had to distance myself from it. It was a whole different experience this time around and even somewhat different after we received our referral for Ren. It took a while to sink in that she was actually ours! I wonder if my heart kept feeling like something might fall through right up until the trip. Then traveling alone was a challenge - so this whole thing was just different. But, we're double (really 4 times over!) now that she's home!
I pray that you have your sweet baby home SOON!
Lisa
www.mycuprunnethover.typepad.com
oops - meant to say "blessed" 4 times over!!! I really ought to proof read before I publish a comment! :)
Lisa
www.mycuprunnethover.typepad.com
I don't think you should feel bad at all either. I let go of almost all my VN sites a while ago...it was driving me crazy and my baby was already home. I couldn't do it if I was still waiting. I check Malia's site every once in a while.
You will have a lot of people to support you no matter which way this goes....But you know I am still crossing everything for you.....I know how much you want a second baby-you were talking about it way before we were! Hang in there, at least you will know something one way or another in 3 more weeks (or less)!
(hugs) to you!!! Waiting is so hard. I can't wait for your referral to come in.
Sending you lots of prayers...I can't imagine how difficult it is and I think perfectly understandable you can't read vn blogs.
I haven't checked in because you said you mightnot post while you were gone and I have missed a TON! I should have known! I knew it sounded out of character for my friend LaLa;)The one who 'flips' when there is no internet:):)
I totally understand the hesitation in reading V blogs yet.
I am so hopeful for you. I pray you receive a referral and I am so sorry for the pain you have had to endure. You have held up amazingly, I just wish I had words to ease your anxiety...
Big Hugs
Connie
OH Laura, My heart hurts for you..I am so sorry you are having this long wait....when you are so so ready for your new little one to be here right now! God's timing is so hard to accept at times....I will be praying more and more for your family to be complete ASAP!!!
Love you sweet friend!!!
Denise
I totally understand how you're feeling about VN blogs and I'm right there with you. I still have a few favorites, but seeing those beautiful babies' faces is so hard and bittersweet. Still hoping for miracles right along with you. Hang in there.
Oh Laura...don't feel bad at all. I am praying for you my friend and it becomes really hard after awhile to see other people's "gotcha moments" when you are trying to be so patient in waiting for your precious angel. Even though you are happy for these other people the fact remains....YOU WANT YOUR BABY AND YOU WANT HER/HIM NOW!!!
I love ya my friend.
Dear Laura,
I totally understand how your feeling and don't feel badly about it I am sure I would be feeling the same way. I pray every day that you receive news of your new baby. Being a mommy to a Vietnamese daughter and Chinese daughter I have been there and know exactly how hard all the waiting and uncertainty is. Hang in there my friend and sending you big hugs.
Well I sympathize with you completely. Once I realized there was no way we would get a referral before the cut off I was having a hard time seeing the sweet little Vietnamese princesses in blogger world. I think of you so often and even though we ended up finding our Malia from Korea my heart still breaks for all the families that are being hurt by what has happened because I know it was almost us too. I pray that I find good news on here soon!
I know what you mean. I can't read any new adoptions :/
We are praying for you all. Annslee and Malia are two lucky little girls! Hang in there, you have many prayers coming your way!
Laura,
I KNOW where you are coming from. I pray for you guys each day. Malia is out there and so is Kaylee. In the meantime, you have one precious girl to fill your heart with love. You are ready, but maybe Malia or Malia's birthmom is not ready yet. We will find our girls. God is good.
Melanie
Laura....I totally understand how you are feeling right now...and so understand why you are not wanting to read any VN blogs right now.....hang in there.....we are still praying for you all!
It is a diffficult time right now and you need to do what helps you to stay positive and hopeful. I know these next few weeks will be super stressful, but enjoy your time at the beach and especially with your Hubei Honey!!
I can understand the feelings (or trying to have the lack there of) for your second adoption.
We're all praying that your referral is coming, Laura.
XO
Laura, I can't imagine how hard the wait is for you. Please know that prayers are going up on your behalf daily. Big hugs to you from Petunia and me.
Laura, I have no words of comfort for you other than to say, how you feel makes so much sense, and you need to do what comforts you. (Or rather not do what causes you pain.)
Our prayers are with your family, and we hope for some news for you soon.
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